It’s a long one… if you’re interested get a cuppa!
I get asked a lot whether I take medication for my ADHD. When I was diagnosed, I was excited by the prospect of medication to help me with something I was really struggling with, and I thought it would be a quick fix.
I had to do additional checks because I’ve got stage four kidney disease, and I wasn’t sure that my renal team would be okay with the medication, because they are incredibly strict.
I don’t even really do paracetamols unless I have a fever. Over the counter medication isn’t something I do anymore, but I was pleasantly surprised when they said that there are no issues in my case. This is just for me, I couldn’t say for somebody else with kidney disease or anything else, but in my case, I was good to try the medication that was being suggested.
Deciding to try it!
I did try it, and in the short term, it was absolutely life changing. I understand that about 80% of people get a significant benefit from ADHD medication, whether it be stimulant or non stimulant, and therefore I would never talk down about it. If you want to try it, and you can pass the medical test to try it, then I would, a lot of people I know have great success on medication.
My experience was that it massively improved my focus. It also helped me start things. I got to experience what it was like as a neurotypical person. When you had a list of things that you wanted to do or that you had to do depending on the situation, and you just got on and did them without any sort of drama, hesitation, issues, prioritising. I thought, WOW! My brain was quiet.
People think I’m crazy when I tell them that I often have music playing in my head over and over and I always assumed that this was just a song worm. Loads of people get it, when you hear something and then it’s stuck in your head for a bit. Apparently it’s significantly different when you wake up to that music in the middle of the night and it’s playing on a loop. It’s woken you and you can’t get back to sleep because you can’t turn it off. That was gone. Also the tinnitus – gone!
The racing thoughts and unable to decide what order to prioritize those thoughts or what to focus on, also quiet.
In fact, 20 minutes after taking my first ADHD medication, I sat in the chair, my brain was quiet for the first time in my life, and I actually cried with relief.
Deciding to stop medication:
But it’s not that straightforward, because in my situation, I found for the positives, the negatives outweighed those significantly.
The quiet in my mind led to a lack of creativity, not in a kind of art type situation that you might imagine. But more importantly, in work creative problem solving, coming up with solutions, coming up with business ideas, business development, being passionate about things clients were doing.
All of that was massively dampened, something I consider to be strength and something that makes me unique, or at least unusual, I also felt lonely.
A 20 year veteran client even said I didn’t seem at all like myself.
I know that sounds crazy, but I’m 46 years into having that level of activity in my brain, I’m quite used to it, and I like the music when it comes. So when it was turned off, it felt empty, and I felt, with hindsight, like a different person.
Now, if you line up a load of ADHD’ers, I’d be really interested to see which ones of them, when given the choice would choose to be neurotypical. I’m in the camp of no thanks!
It’s core to who I am and I’m quite comfortable with that, especially now I’ve stopped masking, or made a significant reduction in the amount of mask. I’m freer and less exhausted by it.
I think, as you understand the way your brain works, you can adapt more.
Things that have worked for me instead
I believe that diagnosis is important, and I do think you need to consider the other options for managing your ADHD which were given to me on diagnosis.
Option one, which you might consider an easier option, is medication.
Option two is diet, which can significantly impact your concentration level and the way you feel. Now, I’m not talking about E numbers or sugars, that’s nonsense. I’m talking about healthy, nutritious food, the link between the gut and the brain is undeniable.
Three – exercise! I thought that exercise would have to be cardio, so running and things like that that which I find boring as shit – I’ve been told by people that when you run, it clears your mind – HARD NO!
It doesn’t clear my mind. All I think is I hate running. I hate running. Why am I doing this? I absolutely hate this. Why am I running?
I’ve found a significant improvement in my concentration levels by completing strength and conditioning classes and yoga and Pilates – Fran Tebutt and Nia Harries you’re amazing on this.
Four and Five – Coaching and counselling, these two things could go hand in hand, or they could be separate. Another power house woman Anita Davies helping me with that!
For years, people have told me I should meditate. I found this impossible. But now I know single point meditation is an option for ADHDers!
Challenges with medication and mental health:
So I tried the meds for about four months. I found my mental health deteriorated significantly towards the end of that, and I tried different varieties.
I did feel like it was medication roulette in the UK. You might find something that worked amazingly well for you, and then a month later, is not available in the UK for the next 12 months.
That, in itself was a problem, and we are sensitive for different brands, even though they tell us that it’s exactly the same thing in the medication. My psychiatrist said that he is inundated with patients that said to him, even just the change in brand makes a significant difference.
So I’m not on medication now, and I haven’t been for a year. I have significantly improved my life anyway, by understanding my values in life, trying to live by them, and then being more compassionate, kind to myself and managing my symptoms better.
I’m an open book, so if anybody wants to pick my brain on pros and cons, as I’ve found it, or things that you could try, that aren’t medication, then please give me a shout. I’m more than happy to tell you what worked for me.