Author: Sarah Wynne

I’m getting used to new labels, but this isn’t one I anticipated, nor apparently one I’m comfortable with. It’s come out of the blue after a chance conversation with someone else who’d recently had this surprise diagnosis.

I’m also a little annoyed that upon ADHD diagnosis no one said “you know what, a lot of people with ADHD also have dyslexia” – apparently this is because ADHD is assessed by psychiatrists so its “not their department” to mention what’s considered a learning difficulty. The cynic in me thinks they could charge more hours if they did….

I’m usually an open book in a lot of ways, but this time I’ve only decided to mention it as my son’s response was “that’s good mummy, now you can help more people.” I asked him what he meant “well you want to change peoples perception of those with ADHD and what they can achieve, now you can inspire people with dyslexia too”

There’s a significant difference in how I feel this time.  When I was diagnosed with ADHD it felt like a lightbulb moment, yes I’m aware that is a cliché. I also felt a huge amount of the late diagnosis grief that people talk about. However, the dyslexia assessment process itself and the diagnosis made me feel thick, and I’ve never felt like that before.

On multiple occasions during the four hour testing process I had to utter the words I can’t do this which is probably the most uncomfortable I’ve ever felt and certainly not something I want to get used to.

I should have known it was coming – I still read to Jamie, he’s 13 now and loves a Percy Jackson book – Percy by complete coincidence has both ADHD and dyslexia too. I sometimes stumble over the words from Greek mythology in the book, or miss words – he corrects me. Now if it’s obvious I struggled but get the word right he says “good job mummy” which I’ve also asked him to stop doing!

I’ve always known I found things harder than other people – but I’ve also known I’m the most determined and resilient person I know. They’ve actually put in the report it’s evident just how determined I was to pass the tasks in hand and how much harder I would have had to work in order to pass all my accountancy exams with decent grades all on the first attempt.

I didn’t know that I struggle to read, and if I read something I can often remember bugger all of it. Evidently this is because I spend so much working memory trying to read I don’t have anything left to take in what I read.

Who knew?! Well, perhaps anyone who has seen me write something by hand – best of luck reading my handwriting – between the scrawl and the dropped letters even a remarkable can’t turn it into text. I’m thankful we are paperless in work so the team don’t have to pass around notes to decipher what they are supposed to say!

When I told my 40 year veteran Step Mother her response was “well you never were any good at spelling”

So I’m trying to focus on the positives

• Shortly we will have 5 team members with dyslexia in W and Co and we were going to work together on workplace adaptations now we are all aware.
• I can indeed talk about it and maybe inspire others as clearly I’m not actually thick
• There seems to be a lot of easy adaptations I can make at work which should make me less tired and make things easier to do
• I can apply for access to work to level the playing field for me (you don’t need a diagnosis for this BTW)
• Maybe the embarrassment will wear off in time – I’ve started now, no pain no gain

And at work, every time there’s a huge legal agreement to go through perhaps it wont fill me with dread and anxiety, nor will I have to fell a small rainforest to print it out so I can use a ruler to follow it. I mean to the solicitors out there – seriously…… you really do bill by the word right???? Jokes aside I’d have made a good solicitor, I’d have to be in litigation though!

Oh and by the way I dictated this for the first time on word so I didn’t have to type it which I didn’t even know is a thing! Also text to sound to proof it!

So onwards and upwards right? It’s out there now. I’ll live with it for a bit see what I can do to help myself, challenge the system to see what they can do to help me too, and one of these days I might actually write a book!

I think it’s important to talk about the challenges of ADHD – they can’t be ignored and it’s those that people need to hear more about in order they accept them for themselves and realise you can still have a good life and successful career, but there are also massive positives.

If you lined up 100 people with ADHD and offered them a one off pill to “cure” them I wonder how many would take it.

It’s a bit different to telling them “don’t push the red button” in which case I suspect the majority of us would slam our hands down hard on it, gaining yet another bruise that we would later think “where the heck did that come from”. Within minutes we’d have mentally run a load of possible scenarios for outcomes, ranked them in likelihood order and would then need to know if we were right…… Plus after a while you get used to being told off….

My brain doesn’t just work at high speed, there’s a lot more to my ADHD then you might expect.

Theres the fairly constant disco, usually some crap euro trash pop chorus on a loop – this means I rarely feel lonely. I can hear you laughing – thinking what’s she on about?  I spent 44 years thinking everyone had songs in their head right? Like people talk about song worms, it’s that right?

Wrong – seems there’s a difference between having a song stuck in your head for a bit and having the Teletubbies theme tune on a loop over and over for days relentlessly – just the chorus, not the whole thing (assuming there is a whole thing).  I recently found it was a huge mistake admitting this to my child, when trying to ascertain if he also had music as we suspect ADHD for him too.  He’s spent the last two weeks just saying “tinky” at random times to kick it off again, the sadistic little bugger. It even wakes me in the middle of the night.

Hmmm sense of humour, yes I believe that’s another positive, plus high energy and enthusiasm. Though the latter are interesting as we get into the concept of “too much”. I bounced into the accounts office of a large client last week with an energy level that a certain battery makers bunny would be envious of, when asked “are you working here today?” I noticed a sigh of relief when the answer was “no”. Most of the time though I’m charismatic enough to get away with it.

I can’t hold too many grudges – because unless you’ve done something really significant then I soon forget why I’m pissed off. Plus my empathy level is a lot higher than most – it’s both a pro and a con as I’m aware people can try to use this to manipulate me, though they would have to also get past my strong intuition – best of luck with that, I’m like a walking bullshit detector!

When there’s a problem I’m likely to be one of the calmest people in the room. In a real emergency I’ve experienced a sensation where time slows down, a bit like a sci-fi movie, whilst I come up with the best solution. My heart rate also slows. The ADHDers strength, resilience and problem solving is second to none.

There are lots more positives too, blogs for other days, I’m likely to lose your attention if I write more – assuming you got this far in the first place! Plus the suns out in West Wales today so time to make the most of it.

So to conclude – NO! – I wouldn’t take the pill, I’ll ride the waves of ADHD and deal with the challenges as the positives are bloody great! If you hear a shrill scream echoing around West Wales of a morning it’s because I’m currently trialing cold showers to kick start the day.

At Wynne and Co we’re pleased to acknowledge Neurodiversity awareness week this week, however it’s important to ensure that this doesn’t turn into a token gesture – this needs to be an ongoing consideration for business and society alike.

Let’s be honest – at Wynne and Co we were largely uneducated about ND until Sarah Wynne’s own diagnosis in Jan 2024 – since this time we’ve educated ourselves and have found a significant number of ND individuals in our workforce and our client bank. We’re working with both to try and level the playing field, rather than forcing them to “fit” into a neuro typical world.

We recognise that ND people can bring strong skills to business, but also we can’t deny that there are also challenges too.  However with the right support ND individuals can thrive – these can be very simple adaptations.

We’ve even changed our recruitment process to be more inclusive, and obtained level one “disability confident employer” status – we’re aiming for level three this year. I feel like the fact the paperwork for this being on my to-do own list is slowing it down…….

Many “conditions” fall into the category Neurodivergence – the most recognised perhaps being

• ADHD
• Autism
• Dyslexia – the irony that I struggle to spell this isn’t lost on me….
• Dyspraxia
• Dyscalculia – I can’t even say this…
• Tourettes

All of these have a range of severity of symptoms, but also some significant strengths – problem solving, creativity, strong empathy, high emotional intelligence, meeting deadlines, attention to detail – the list goes on.

Think about changing the narrative and your own mindset – do you care if your ADHD employee is late for work twice a week as you expect them to conform with 9-5, is it better to focus on the fact they can get half as much work done again as another employee when they hyperfocus? Maybe you could alter their working hours instead of constantly telling them off?

It’s time for change – to think outside the box – to level the playing field!

TW – this is likely to annoy a few….. oh well, it’s not my first time

People judge me with their own preconceptions, anyone who really knows me knows I struggle with women only events, and days like IWD.

People make the assumption that I’m a hardcore feminist…….

The Oxford English dictionary defines feminist as “Of, relating to, or advocating the rights and equality of women”

Some “feminists” have become extremists and there can be a want for preferential treatment, rather than a demand for equality.

Women can congratulate each other on their success “despite being female”. This is damaging to the true feminists out there.

I do recognise that in the UK today there is still discrimination against women. And don’t even get me started on what’s now happening in the USA.

Ladies – if you really want to subtly challenge a guy on equality I have two favourite lines:

• Just because I don’t have a penis, doesn’t mean I can’t….. **fill in the blank**

And

• Even though I have a vagina, I still think my balls are bigger than yours…

And yes, I have used these in client meetings, not very professional? Oh well…. Try it – and let me know how you get on! It’s effective.

The infinite love and positive feminine energy is a huge benefit. Coupled with a level of empathy and emotional intelligence that is less common in the male population. If you use this to your advantage it’s hard to compete with.

I’ve not found success DESPITE of being female. I believe I’ve been successful BECAUSE I’m female:

• I can be very direct to the most masculine clients and it doesn’t get into a battle of testosterone
• I have huge warmth and empathy, I’m not afraid to show affection and care for the people
• I’m open and compassionate which means male clients can talk to me – I’ve had many a butch guy in tears over their business or personal struggles over the years – in confidence and without judgement
• I’ve recruited the best people – I won’t apologise that they are female
• I’ve created a business where women can have strong careers and also be there for their children and families

So guys – open your eyes to what a female can bring to your team and business. Some of the best businesses I work with have equal or majority female senior roles.

And ladies – don’t be jealous of another’s success – when you become successful yourself try to give back some of that back to society, by demanding equality and teaching your children the same regardless of their gender.

I have a disappointing level of highly successful female clients – something I would love to see change. So if you’d like to discuss taking your business to the next level then please get in touch.

And finally, before you start sending me texts and DMs guys – I’ve not forgotten, nor will I ever do, the key men in my life and my client bank who put their trust in me when I setup W and Co – some of you are true feminists too!

This is a line from a conversation I had with a “veteran” client I had last week – by veteran I mean we’ve worked together for twenty years by now. And I was talking about me.

For me ADHD brings great highs, positivity, and the ability to take things on others wouldn’t even consider and smash them out of the park on a regular basis. I can multi task easily when I’m interested in something and am at my coolest when things are most challenging – even my heart rate slows. I can have the energy to complete tasks in half the time of others, the creativity to come up with half a dozen solutions for any problem, and choose which is best in a matter or minutes. I’m probably the most resilient person you know.

BUT…. And it’s a big but….

The lows are a huge problem and something I’m learning to accept, talk about and ride out rather than mask and let build up into volcano like scale. Acceptance and openness speeds recovery (well according to my ADHD coach – who’s amazing BTW) so you can blame him for this post aimed at helping others to understand.

When the lows hit a brutal combination of imposter syndrome and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria take over everything. 

Most people understand imposter syndrome – feeling like an intellectual or professional fraud – let’s be fair this isn’t the most helpful thing as a Chartered Accountant working who generally only works on higher level work now!

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria however isn’t that known about – it’s linked to ADHD but not necessarily exclusive to it. It interferes with your body’s ability to regulate emotions with relation to rejection or negativity and makes them much more extreme – this leads to you feeling rejected, a failure and alone. A nasty trick for your brain to play when you’re not on top form!

It makes me feel “needy” – horrendous for someone who’s so independent. Also sad, over sensitive, hopeless and alone (alone! Something that couldn’t be farther from the truth, I have a very strong support network at home but also with friends and colleagues).

Right now, today, that’s where I’m at. And that’s OK. Plus – no longer do I think this is depression for me – this is ADHD and needs to be seen as such and not misdiagnosed and mis treated.

I need to look at the positives in the situation. The more episodes of this since ADHD diagnosis in January 2024, the more I can identify the causes, and the more likely I can lower the impact and shorten the period of suffering, with practice. Plus the opportunity to talk about it and perhaps others.

To recoup I know I need less people, so I’ll shrink my circle for a bit, work from home more and get some quiet to rebuild the energy levels – also get outdoors as nature restores everything for me. Picture of how I want to get back to feeling – on top of the world!

I’ve been quiet about ADHD for the first 18 days. I’d been determined that the next ADHD post I shared would be a positive one, alas that isn’t to be the case – or maybe it is.

I attended a great business lunch today, without ADHD meds. My ears 👂 are still ringing, thanks to ADHD, and my brain feels like a car with an overheated engine – I’m fairly sure I could fry an egg 🍳 on my forehead. If I had any attention span at all for Canva I could create a rather amusing pic complete with egg on face to go with the post.

At the event I had another person who said “I’ve been following you on Linkedin, it’s great to see you raising awareness, keep it up” so here we go.

My mental health is awful right now 🥴 , it’s tricky to see the positives and get over the ADHDers finest imposter syndrome that gives you the additional kick when you’re already down. I was about to launch a book and website for blogging both called “She Who Dares Wynnes” but now I feel like I’m not winning at anything.

How did I get here when I’d been doing so well for months? Well, I’m like the Delia Smith of ADHD….
✅ take some significant overworking,
✅ add in a poor diet, too much screen time, no natural light,
❌ remove exercise and the great outdoors – all the excuses,
✅ add some significant hyperfocus, too much empathy
✅ finally some physical health worries, waiting for results (we don’t do patient in either definition)

Bingo!  Us ADHDers have a rather annoying tendency to lose sight of our values and self-destruct 💥. The next thing you know instead of being “on it” we’re struggling to get out of bed in the morning 😴 . Let’s not mention the insomnia….

There is a positive though, my first bout of depression since ADHD diagnosis meant I went searching for answers. It turns out that up to 80% of ADHDers also live with bouts of depression and anxiety – so not having it is the exception not the norm.

Coupled with the science 👩‍🔬 behind the ADHD brain, this revelation has opened my eyes to the difficulty level of the challenge of using wellbeing techniques alone to win against the dark clouds ☁️circling overhead.

Around 50% of ADHDers see an improvement in their mental health using stimulants – but this isn’t working for me right now. So antidepressants it is for a bit, or maybe long term? But you know what, I’ve spent years spouting to people “if you had a vitamin deficiency you’d take a tablet – it’s the same thing, it’s a dopamine deficiency”. I thought I meant it – I do now.

A few days into the meds and I’m already sleeping again, my head is clearing, I’m starting to feel like myself and my creative brain is returning. And there it is – my positive, there’s always one.

I’ve a few days off now, away, with no responsibilities. Time to regroup and go again – but focused on some challenges I can win, rather than those I’m set to fail! 😍

I’d entered an award to develop something to assist entrepreneurs who have ND tendencies. To help them realise their dreams reducing the difficulties they face.

So Catrin and I will do it alone. It’ll be three times as hard and without financial support – but that’s standard for me when you look back at my achievements in spite of late diagnosed diagnosis.

As many as 1 in 3 entrepreneurs have ADHD. Wynne and co clients and staff will see the benefit to changes we’re going to make levelling the playing fields soon 😏

The award says it’s inclusive. But the challenges were significant for me due to my own ADHD

1. I didn’t know it existed – hidden in marketing emails waffle
2. I find it easy to help others, can’t help myself 🙄
3. Short two month entry period – on top of the day job(s) overwhelm!
4. I struggled to find help to complete the actual words so ended up with two weeks to do it
6. The online help zooms were two hour sessions 🤢🥴
7. I was then told I was late asking for reasonable adjustments

Feels a bit like I was disadvantaged going for an award to help those with ADHD as I have ADHD 🥴

So the feedback is that the concept is good but I lacked the detail and effort in my submission. That it hadn’t been planned through. Thing is it has….. the irony is my ADHD creative brains run every scenario and planned every detail – problem is I cant get that onto paper and they can’t read my mind. The video element was a max 2 mins – have you ever heard an adhder try and explain something briefly? (Note the length of this blog… and I’ve cut it down twice)🤣

It’s time for change. We need to level the playing fields. Equality and equity is all we’re asking for. So I’ll carry on talking about this until we see a difference.

And yes, I’ll feedback my comments to the awards team and ask them to consider what they can do to make things more accessible in future. Until then Catrin and I start work Monday after a waiting period that’s held us back 😍😍😍 bring it on!

I don’t have many girl mates but these are the best type

Surround yourself with the people who support you and enable you to be your authentic self at all times – cull the rest 😏

Undiagnosed Adhd has lead to 45 years of masking and it’s exhausting🥱

2024 has brought a huge life shift for me. Diagnosis and a package of support has led me to a place where I can dream again and it feels bloody amazing!

I often get told “I don’t know how you do it!” ADHD – that’s how. The positives are great. The negatives not so much 👎🏻.

No more masking for me. I’m embracing the label with pride – and if you don’t like it that’s on you.

I’ve even bigger career goals planned for this year as well as some well overdue work life balance. Time to make positive changes but also to help others do the same – so I’ll be launching my blog site soon.

And to the haters – I’m ready for you, even with RSD – you’ll just add fuel to my passion so thank you in advance 😏

Oh and a fun car should always look like this 😜